A friend was buying cigarettes and a stranger said, “The surgeon general said smoking can be hazardous to your health.” My friend responded, “Did they also tell you that #$!@ing with me can be hazardous to your health?” The stranger opted to move to another line. 

When my friend told me about this encounter I laughed and then asked “why the heated response since you don’t smoke?” and she said, “because it wasn’t any of their business!” Now I don’t know if the stranger’s advice was sincere or sardonic, but I do know that giving advice, solicited or unsolicited, can be hazardous.

Whether you are the giver or receiver of advice, timing appears to be more critical than the truth; this is the principle behind the quote, “The truth out of season bears no fruit.” Unfortunately, most of us didn’t get the memo about how to tell advice time. I remember the first time I had to fly, I asked my cousin, an experienced flyer, for advice. He said, “Get a window seat because if it’s your time to go, at least you will see it coming.” His advice wasn’t elegant or comforting, but I took it—and thousands of flown miles later, I still remember it as the ugly truth.

Over the years, I have realized that many people can’t handle the truth even when they ask for it. I have had friends, co-workers, family and some strangers ask for advice, prefacing the request with, “I want you to tell me the honest truth.” And I foolishly thought they meant it:

• A co-worker told me she was written up for spending too much time on her personal business and for doing an overall inadequate job. She asked me for honest feedback. I proceeded to provide examples of my interactions with her, which unfortunately supported her manager’s review. I also said that she had one of the most patient managers around, because I would have written her up six months ago. Maybe I shouldn’t have added the last part, because she walked out and never spoke to me again.
• A friend was complaining about her boyfriend of five years, saying he was unmotivated and aimless. When she asked for my “honest” opinion, I said “fixing him doesn’t fix you.” You don’t have any anchors (marriage, children or mortgage) with him, but you still continue the relationship—even though you’re always talking about him like he’s an uninvited guest in your life. The question isn’t “what is wrong with him?,” but “what is wrong with you?” She left the conversation with a few curse words for me and didn’t speak to me for two years.

I’ve learned professionally and personally that even if you are invited to give your opinion, you shouldn’t accept every invitation. The simple truth is that people aren’t always honest about looking for honesty. In some cases, they are looking for you to co-sign their views instead of presenting a different one.

To reduce hazards in this game of advice, I TRY to follow two rules: Don’t go where you aren’t invited, and make every effort to understand the invitation. By understanding the invitation, you can weigh your RSVP options: whether to turn it down (pretty lie), come as you are (ugly truth) or dress for the occasion (sugarcoat it). Most importantly, if you do accept, you cannot overstay your welcome. Get in and get out. Then let nature take its course, because life will either beat you or teach you through your journey to maturity.

Over the years I have offered my cousin’s flying advice to nervous flyers. The same advice that I took in stride inspires a spectrum of reactions from others, from outrage to laughter. Not everyone respects the “ugly truth,” despite the saying that the truth will set you free—because some people just like being tied up.  

Complete honesty can derail a conversation or relationship faster than an oil spill on wet pavement. Tread lightly when you are asked for advice, because sometimes you need to leave people in the ditch until they are ready to be set free.

Written by: Gwendolyn M. Ward

Principal at FOOW?

Email: swimming@foowater.com

When talking about workplace “traumas” from senior management to the front desk, a common theme is ineffective managers and why they exist. Frequent complaints center on promotions stemming from seniority only, office politics or some other ‘What Duh?’ advancement that is more mysterious than the Bermuda Triangle.

When I hear managers refer to an employee as ‘bad,’ it bothers me because ‘bad’ is more about the manager than the employee. As a manager/leader, it’s your responsibility to correct the actions of employees in a reasonable period or terminate them. Allowing an unproductive, disengaged or disruptive employee to continue his or her employment is equivalent to slowly releasing toxins in your corporate environment. Over the years, colleagues have opposed my philosophy, but we have agreed to disagree because leadership accountability can be a sensitive subject.

At one point in my career I was nicknamed “the terminator” because I was given a department that was significantly underperforming with 100s of people on staff. My boss solicited me to take this challenge with “you have a direct but fair participatory leadership style with a knack for teambuilding, which is needed in this department.” Life Lesson: Accepting “spin” can earn you 14 hour work days and an unflattering nickname, but I digressed. After carefully assessing the issues, I implemented infrastructure that increased accountability, training, team engagement and clearer communications. The goal was to create an environment of accountability and appreciation without intimidation, by inspiring the chaos to become order, the lazy to become productive, and the productive to become appreciated.

I re-evaluated performances in the new infrastructure and started top-to-bottom terminations. Ironically, the biggest concern came from my boss and the biggest appreciation came from the employees who were successfully contributing, but lumped with people who were just showing up.

My boss wanted me to select a few known ‘bad’ employees and terminate them. I said, “No, we are going to give everyone an opportunity to step up. Because if they were ‘bad,’ it was my predecessor’s fault due to inconsistent feedback and follow through.”

The majority of the terminations went smoothly; the people were calm, understanding and, in some cases, relieved. Some asked for career advice and a few told me they couldn’t believe they lasted as long. Only 40% of the known ‘bad’ employees were terminated, while the rest stepped up. The most indignation came from terminations in the leadership positions-some saying it wasn’t their fault they had ‘bad’ employees. In the end, the department was successful and I was unfortunately named the terminator. I realized that throughout the leadership rank, several managers including my boss could not or would not lead, thus creating a cycle of poor performance. There are too many managers who love the title, money or power, but reject the responsibility. They end up just getting by, while negatively impacting morale, attrition and revenue.

Many management promotions are one dimensional, prompted by seniority, non management performance or a recommendation. This is problematic, because great engineers don’t always make a great engineering manager; leading is a very different skill set.

A more effective approach would be comprehensive, focusing on the individual’s current performance coupled with personality assessments, 360 evaluations and situational management interviews. A comprehensive approach meets candidates where they are-to either identify their capabilities or select them out of the process while pairing the promoted people with good mentoring and leadership development programs.

When people are placed in management positions haphazardly, it can create a collision between reality and ego. The result is a wreck of denial, manifesting as toxic behaviors: micro-managing, controlling, passive aggressiveness, chaos, bullying, poor judgments and constantly deflecting issues to Human Resources to avoid responsibility.

Leading people is a continuous challenge that requires frequent visits to your “ugly truth” to ask: Can you do it? Or should you keep doing it, if you aren’t effective or don’t like it? If you can’t successfully deal with conflict, confrontations, inspiring unmotivated people or finding solutions to problems-big or small…then leadership is not for you. Having the title without owning the responsibility is about effective as a tire without air.

So if you are a manager who often complains about always getting the ‘bad’ employees, I encourage you to check your rearview mirror to see if you are the train in that train wreck.

Written by: Gwendolyn M. Ward, Principal at FOOW?

When I was 13, I heard my great aunt say that she purchased an expensive car because she hated her job and needed an incentive to stay. Years later, when I struggled with my own discontent and watched others struggles with theirs, her words resonated with me. I may have been gainfully employed at the time, but I felt painfully employed.

During my struggle, I vacillated between excitement, swinking (not quite swimming, not quite sinking) and painful employment: excited with any new opportunities, swinking when they didn’t fulfill my expectations, and painfully employed when I became too comfortable being uncomfortable.

Three words, “comfortable being uncomfortable,” and one quote, “if you don’t know what port you are sailing to, no wind is favorable,” summed up my painful employment. I produced the results, but my constant boredom and impatience had me in a cycle of discontent. I didn’t know what I wanted to do, just what I disliked doing while waiting for an undefined ‘something” to happen.

I wanted everyone to change but me, because rejecting responsibility by just complaining was easier than being accountable. My family and friends wanted me to find peace, not only for my sake but for theirs. Plus my dog went from covering his ears with his paws to stuffing his head under the couch cushion during my complaints. Dog hints aside, being painfully employed was all consuming for me and the people in my life. Then I started getting on my own nerves. That, coupled with the fear that my dog might suffocate, prompted me to change.

I started pursing jobs outside of my comfort zone to build confidence. I dealt with the expected, the unexpected, the crazy, the scary, the overwhelming and I survived. Through these experiences, I grew personally and professionally, gained invaluable experience and discovered the difference between surviving and thriving. Once I made the decision to change, executing was easy for me. But years later I still see that this decision isn’t easy for every painful employee (PE):

- A PE friend was ranting about her job; not only was her glass half empty, but it was cracked and the water leaking wasn’t wet enough. I asked if she could name five things that she was grateful for and she said, “No.” I said, “You have all five of your senses and you and your child is healthy — that’s seven things in three seconds.” She walked away. I later realized that my response was equivalent to dashing a bucket of water over a fire that she had painstakingly built.

-A coworker two years out of college complained incessantly about “stupid” management decisions. I encouraged him to find another job, because he was smart but inexperienced and needed a broader perspective.  This would anger him because he didn’t want to change (sound familiar?), but wanted others to. Every week he sought me out despite having hundreds of colleagues to debate his point, and I repeated my response. He eventually resigned, but returned a year later, humbled because he swam with bigger, smarter fish and didn’t receive the attention he wanted. His humbleness lasted three months until he started complaining again.

- Another PE announced twice weekly that she was looking for another job. After two years, I asked about her job search and she responded that her résumé needed updating. I offered to help her with it, but she wanted to do the first draft. She is going on her tenth year at the same job with the same complaints.

Unfortunately for some, if there is a cure for it, they don’t want it. Being painfully employed is akin to being a professional victim and, like any profession; it takes time and dedication to become proficient. The painfully employed want change without changing, and this conflict keeps them stranded in a place where they can refuse assistance, but still yell at anyone passing by.

My great aunt retired from her job after 45 years and she can still tell you how much she hated it. Although she is in a different generation, some would say the more things change, the more they stay the same. But what I would say is sometimes you have to just shut up and fish by choosing to manage change over managing pain. It’s the only way to keep personal growth from becoming your Sisyphean task.

Written by: Gwendolyn M. Ward, Principal at FOOW?

One definition of ‘challenge’ is a call to engage in a contest, fight, or competition.  We hear a lot about challenges these days, especially in reference to the economy…”These are challenging times or Especially in these economically challenging times.”

To adapt in “challenging” times it is critical to put the boxing gloves on and accept the call to engage. When I talk to people in transition-due to job loss or a lack of connection with their current job-those struggling most are failing to accept “the call to engage.” From young graduates to seasoned professionals, their capacity to engage in the interesting lesson of cause and effect is leaving a lot of unanswered questions:

-        More than 20 years after graduation, a college alum tells me he has been unemployed for more than a year and he is struggling to keep his house in this economy. He has a very marketable degree, but never held a job longer than three years; in several jobs, he stayed less than one year. When asked: Is it possible that the problem lies with you and not the economy? Have you considered looking outside of your zip code or in another state, since your degree is marketable despite the economy? His response was “No” followed by rambling excuses blaming others and then, defensive silence.

-        An MBA graduate says she’s been looking for full-time employment for 10 years while working temporary/contract jobs. She blames the economy. When again asked: Is it possible that you might be the issue, because the economy hasn’t been bad for 10 years? She vehemently said NO, stating that she always performs excellent work. She was then asked: Do you have that in writing from any of the managers you have worked for in the last 10 years? She said no, but that doesn’t mean she isn’t performing well.

-        A young college graduate tells me that she would rather tend bar than work in her field as a gopher. When asked: Which path will likely help you to the upper half of your degreed field: starting at the bottom and working your way up, or tending bar until a top position opens requiring your degree, coupled with no industry experience and several years of bartending? She said she makes more money as a bartender vs. starting out in an entry level job; I said: why can’t you do both?

Transitioning from where you are to where you need to go isn’t easy; it requires you to become connected to the cause and effect of your actions, and to own them by taking responsibility. To engage in something successfully, especially in a competition or fight, you must have the ability to take a punch and respond with a counter punch (meaningful reaction)-and remain standing.  You aren’t engaged if you just take the punches, without bothering to move, change or get out the way.

To think that you are engaged when you are making little effort while expecting big results, finding excuses for staying where you are, blaming someone else, or just being blind to the lesson of cause and effect-only makes you bitter instead of better.

There are many roads to success and the trip will include numerous challenges requiring us to change lanes, change directions or just change scenes. How we engage in these challenges determines whether we grow up taking responsibility, or grow old rejecting it. Even a car can’t keep the same tires forever, because change is good for the drive.

Written by: Gwendolyn M. Ward, Principal at FOOW?

My nephew called to tell me about his new car and I shared my first car experience at 16: I told him that during the first night I kept looking out the window to verify that it was real. He laughed and admitted that he had done the same thing. When we disconnected, I thought about the “honeymoon period” we tend to have with people and things, and how exhilarating it is at first until it morphs into feelings far less interesting like responsibility. 

Several cars later, I never did a “reality check” after bringing them home, because to me, they were just responsibility wrapped up in transportation. My first car represented freedom since I didn’t have to borrow my parents’ car, or wait for a ride after school or from work. It was my car and I was driving on cloud nine until responsibility swerved in front of me. Understanding responsibility is relatively straightforward when it comes to financial matters; you either execute with timeliness or not, based on your maturity and means. On the other hand, the ability to respond when it involves relationships, personal or professional can be more complicated.

This became clear when an alumnus told me how her excitement after graduation led her and friends to visit their Alma Mater frequently the first year. After the second year, the excitement waned and it became a hassle and they lost interest. Four years drifted by and they hadn’t participated in any activities. When I asked her to define hassle, she said the eight-hour round trip, her job, boyfriend, the football team and possibly her three-legged dog or hog-I wasn’t sure because she was talking in circles. The short version was “she hated to miss it, but she really didn’t want to go.” Not only was her excitement gone, it was completely lost and she wasn’t trying to find it.

This conversation colorfully summed up the main challenge of Alma Maters after graduation, RELEVANCE. How do they matter and keep the relevance while their Alums’ lives evolve? What I wanted to say to the Alum with the three-legged hog was, “you got a life, right?” It made sense that she would go back to the familiar when surrounded by the unfamiliar. She graduated, moved to a new city and didn’t know many people. So she bonded with her college friends and they all went back to the familiar, their Alma Mater. That was fun until they became familiar with their new lives and perhaps realized that the value of those alumni activities had faded away, to the point that it no longer outweighed the efforts required to stay connected.

Familiarity and value are strongly connected to donations. A friend curtly told me that she didn’t donate to her university because she didn’t feel a connection. She donated and supported a number of charities from cancer to heart associations, but donating to her Alma Mater was not an option. She received a great education and paid a great sum to get it, NEXT! To her, it was black-and-white, but that is not always the case. We asked Alums:

 Have you ever donated money to your college? Why? 

56% - Yes and 44% No 

Most of the Yeses were people who received some type of scholarship themselves, so they wanted to pay it forward with the next generation. Other reasons stated were pride in their college, a way to give back, a way to show support to a particular program like the drama club or another club in which they were involved. 

Most of the Nos didn’t provide reasons. Maybe, like my friend, it was an emphatic No!, followed by NEXT. The few that provided reasons said they couldn’t afford it, their school didn’t need it, or paying their student loans is their donation. 

Again, Mattering appears to be the overall challenge for colleges/universities to connect and stay connected with their Alums. In our previous blogs, 88% of Alums said they did not participate in their alumni activities while 66% said they did not feel that their Alma Mater supported them beyond graduation.  For some Alma Maters, defining Mattering will be harder than creating fire with a wet match, but for others it will light a fire under their creativity to reach out and become relevant on different levels outside of their current view. Because loyalty is not inherent upon graduation, especially with the millennial generation: it is EARNED.

My encounter with church envelopes taught me that in a career train wreck every light in the tunnel is not a way out.

At the time, my job was a train wreck pile-up of unchallenging responsibilities coupled with bickering, backstabbing, and bitter co-workers on the management team. I was frantically sending out résumés to escape this disaster and a company contacted me, looking for a manager to create infrastructure to improve their employee and customer experience. Since that was my fame, I took the bait and arrived at the interview revving to go. I immediately learned that the division created church envelopes. And the hiring manager had more passion about the envelopes than a half-naked, painted football fan in Wisconsin.

The manager effused enthusiastically about geographic areas, various religions and the intriguing intricacies of the church envelope business. His enthusiasm, fascination for the product and his accomplishments were clearly a thrill a minute to himself. I, on the other hand, was underwhelmed. Being curious by nature and harboring a love of problem solving, I have never once wondered about the origins of church envelopes. And yet, there I sat, listening to the story behind the churches and the envelopes with a plastered smile…wondering about the injury potential of leaping from a 4^th floor window in a suit and 3-inch heels.

Church envelopes plus a manager who focused on his accomplishments while dismissing employee development to off-the-shelf tape viewings equaled what? Another train wreck? Or was I being paranoid? So I started asking questions to clarify expectations and they basically went unanswered; instead, he stayed on the course of describing his accomplishments over the years. Without a doubt, there was an “I” in his team, which meant his definition of progress was myopic at best, and more underwhelming than church envelopes. It was also clear that he wasn’t the one pushing for this new position and wasn’t on board.

At some point, I realized that jumping out the window in the middle of the interview was, at a minimum, unprofessional. But still, I had to lecture my desperate self who was urging me on, “take it!, at least you will escape your current wreck.” My logical self was saying, Girl you better RECOGNIZE that every light in the tunnel isn’t an escape, sometimes it’s just another train. I finally threw my desperate self out the window and kept sending résumés until I received a better match.

Personally or professionally, change can be a challenge. However, when your desperate self is in complete control, the results can be unfavorable regardless of the challenge. A little desperation mixed with logic is not a bad thing. Desperation can motivate you to change, and logic can help you evaluate past decisions that resulted in your current situation.

Later, I realized that the interview was a meeting of despair, where the manager was desperate to maintain the status quo and I was desperate to escape my wreck. By luck, my logical self slapped my desperate self off the train tracks which lead to better decision making by me. For the manager, I assumed he eventually got on board because for change to happen favorably, buy-in is needed-especially at the leadership level. If not, you will have a situation where someone is always waiting for his or her turn to speak, without the benefit of listening. We asked Alums…How can the Alum Associations or Career Centers improve?

For Alumni Associations and Career Centers

“Offering courses that help further develop your

professional career roadmap/skills as you transition through the different stages in your career. Helping

to evaluate what has worked in your career, what’s important, and how your path needs to change as your lifestyle evolves with work/family.”

“Offer assistance in transitioning to a career or during a job transition.”

“Do MBTI, focus on what you can

find passion in for your career.”

“Provide more outreach/services for gra

duates.”

“Go beyond the typically resume and interview tips to teaching real world tools that will keep me from feeling defeated while I am adjusting to life after graduation

“Alumni associations and career centers need to get outside their comfort zones and provide better support with career counseling before and after graduation.”

For Alumni Associations

“I enjoyed college but feel they should help students more with their careers after college. As students we invest so much in our education that I feel colleges should invest more in their students’ careers after college.”

“We have sister schools that maybe could have helped. Expand beyond your own alum.”

“Work on post graduation involvement and counseling, transition from school environment to work environment - developing skills needed to succeed in workplace (b/c it’s definitely not the same skills used in the school environment).”

“Students need to be aware of the services while attending. In addition, the emails I rec. are directed at donating funds not really speaking about the services that are offered.”

“Organize local chapters for alums who no longer live in the area.”

“Cultivate relationships with students before they graduate. And become more relevant when engaging students.”

“The Alumni Association can help with employment information.

“You already have our cash - now stick with us! The quarterly magazine doesn’t really speak to opportunities and continuing education.”

“Alum association can offer more of a variety of events.”

“Alum Associations are far more influential than career development centers. I suppose more infrastructure, more “Meet and Greets”, more direct mentoring/shadowing.”

“The Alumni Associations could work harder to connect with their graduates before graduation”.

“Provide more young alum events with reduced price tags!”

“The alumni associations should reach out more to graduates in states other than the ones in which their universities reside. Once you leave the state, the only time they seem to get in touch is when they need donations.”

“The Alumni Association website is hard to navigate and it is frustrating. We are scattered across the country but the center seems to focus on local events only- not cool.”

“It is more important than ever that students and grads have more support in the transition from college to the workforce. The Alumni Associations need to strengthen their transition support.”

For Career Centers

“I wish I had more career counseling. I am back in school in order to begin a second career. Getting “real life” experience made me better understand the type of career I wanted to pursue. I went from high school to a four year college and it wasn’t until I had my second job after college that I realized I wanted to pursue another career.”

“Perhaps by posting what opportunities the career centers have to offer to let people know how they are able to assist graduates in a career path and a job in that field of interest”

“Increase number of career fair type activities.”

“Getting students comfortable to different interviewing styles.”

“Career centers should offer internship opportunities for all students and not just those already enrolled in a major.”

“Having people from various businesses talk with the students- about jobs, the work, work hours, demands, and what they are looking for in employees.”

“Career centers should also be available to graduates who have become unemployed. They should have the resources there to help graduates improve their marketable skills.”

“I found that that career counselors were very unorganized but enthusiastic. I had little assistance from them in finding a job or even in what career path to choose. Ultimately I spent years as a waitress before I was discovered by my current boss.”

Preparation, Searching and Satisfaction are the lanes on the road to maturity. The ideal path would be: our parents prepare us for life, and then release us to search for who we are and what we want in the world. We stumble around for a while, eventually landing in a place of fulfillment or satisfaction.
The same principle applies on our career path. We prepare ourselves through college or other training, start searching to apply that training in the workplace-with hopes of eventually finding job satisfaction. Some of us progress easily through all three phases with minimum drama, but more often it’s a bumpy road that’s complicated by speed limits, breakdowns, flat tires and detours to Stuckville.
We’ve all been there. Stuckville is that place where we spin our wheels because we aren’t ready to travel to the next phase; it is typically populated by people who are:
Stuck in preparation and not ready to grow up: “Dude, you’re 35 and been in college for 17 years, GRADUATE already!”
Stuck being too comfortable in their comfort zone: “Wearing Prada while living at home is not a good look.”
Stuck being uncomfortable in their comfort zone: “Are you saying, every boss you had, hated you and that’s why you got fired, again?”
Stuck defining their life through superficial accomplishments without emotional maturity:”How do you manage to include your job title, house and car in every conversation? I just asked you to pass the salt?”
Short visits in Stuckville are common and even, well, normal. But when you are living there or visiting frequently with a caravan full of sticky baggage…you become stuck on blaming others, stuck on boredom, stuck on irresponsibility and just stuck on being STUCK. During these times you need exit ramps leading you to the right people, at the right time, to help you move on.
Exit ramp advice is like anything else, it has its Good-”finding yourself is a process of peaks and valleys that will eventually get you where you need to be. So, hang in there!” its Bad - “everyone hates their job, just be grateful you got one and get over it!” And the Ugly truth-”only you can define yourself so stop asking and waiting for others to do it for you. Plus, you’re over 30 and living in your parents’ basement, call U-HAUL and get moving!”
In the words of John Foster Dulles–The measure of success is not whether you have a tough problem to deal with, but whether it’s the same problem you had last year.
We asked…. Did you feel like your college supported you beyond graduation? Why?
15%- YES ♦ 66% - NO ♦ 19%- YES & NO
♦83 percent of the surveyed alums who answered Yes (15%) were aged 21-34 years old; the remaining 17 percent were over 44.
Reputation yes. ‘06 Alum
Yes, the college has been very supportive. I go back to campus often. I still use their library to do work or study, I’m in contact with the career services office and I’m still occasionally speak with my advisor. ‘03 Alum
Yes, still have career services access and connections to employers from on-campus jobs and professors for references. ‘06 Alum
Several teachers that I had in college I have used as a reference or just a sounding board. ‘04 Alum
Yes. They have kept me apprised of alumni events, campus developments, and the life turns of alumni. ‘97 Alum
Yes, I stay in contact with my professors/director/advisors. They have been references for jobs/graduate school/national appointments. They have recommended me for awards/recognition. ‘89 Alum
Yes. Offering networking activities, web sites for collaboration, access to e-libary holdings, job search, continuing education opportunities, helping other students. ‘86 Alum
♦63 percent of respondents who said No (66%) were 21-34 years old, 15 percent were 35-44 years old, and 22 percent were over 44.
No. I felt I had no help beyond graduation. No one reached out to me beyond hitting me up for donations. ‘04 Alum
No. You could almost say that my choice of school was very poor…but what teen ever knows what’s best for their life? ‘04 Alum
No, not in a job sense, but I do feel like they keep me up to date with what is going on. ‘97 Alum
No, Haven’t received any communication from them other than requests for donations.’98 Alum
No. The only time I hear from my college is when they are fund raising. There are no activities that provide career opportunities or growth. ‘85 Alum
Nope! I didn’t need them for help. I had made many of my own connections and worked those. I really didn’t know that the college provided help beyond graduation. ‘80 Alum
No. They did not help with job placement or anything post graduation. They do keep asking for donations. Don’t think they knew then what we know now.’78 Alum
♦ 62.5 percent of those who answered Yes & No (19%) were 21-34 years old; the remaining 37.5 percent were over 44.
Yes and no. While we still have access to our Career Services Center, they really don’t have any outreach or seminars directed to graduates or helping grads find jobs after they’ve been out of college for some time. But yes, because I am still in contact with most of my professors (from my major and minor studies), and they are always helpful and willing to write recommendations, give feedback or advice, or to just chat and catch up. ‘04 Alum
My college prepared me for my job as best as it could. There were classes on how to write a resume and people to look over it. If I wanted to stay in the local area they had job fairs with local businesses. Beyond that, not so much. ‘02 Alum
Yes and no - I receive an Alumni Magazine, but there is little support or contact beyond that.’99 Alum
UP NEXT:  “Have you ever donated money to your college?”

The success of Alumni Associations depends on their ability to build relationships around the evolving needs of graduates with diverse interests and motivation.  Since it is difficult if not impossible to appeal to everyone, the challenge is how to appeal to most grads while they are accumulating life experiences. How to create a personal connection with grads outside of the campus area?  How to create loyalty from grads with various pursuits?

Today’s alums are looking for personal and professional development support, i.e., unemployed and employed, single and married, second thoughts to a second career and every change in-between.  Helping them define themselves through these changes is an enormous challenge for associations and they are using various tactics to connect to grads. Some universities connect better by having their alumni outreach located in the schools/colleges versus having a centralized Alumni Association. A number of associations are offering workshops addressing issues beyond graduation although the campus-focus may be limiting their results. Either way, the listening audience may be shrinking:

Are you currently involved in any Alumni activities? Why?

88% of our surveyed participants said No. 49% between ages 21-34, 12% - ages 35-44 and 27%- over 45. The majority are in touch with their college friends and advisors/professors which they preferred over alumni activities. Distance from school, convenience, value, disinterest and being turned off by the heavy solicitations for donations were common reasons for lack of participation:

“Not a member of the alumni association.  I guess I don’t see a big benefit to joining the alumni association. I enjoyed my college experience and am a loyal fan of their sport teams, but did not stay involved in the school.”-91 Alum 

“No. I haven’t heard of any programs that interest me.”-99 Alum  

“Not formal alumni events, but my classmates and I plan several whole group activities each year.”-04 Alum   

 “No, activities are scheduled at the college. Also, and maybe more importantly, I am in contact with my close friends and most of them are not involved either.”-02 Alum

For some, it’s like a friend who is always having parties at their house, you may like them but it is too much of a hassle to go. Being friendly, they then send you updates with candid shots of the event letting you know that you were missed. “But oh by the way, if you would like to donate, that would be nice too.” What?! “Dude, can you party near my place sometimes or at least meet me somewhere half way.”

Perceived value of the Alumni Association varies among age groups. Loyalty is not a foregone conclusion with the younger generation; they expect you to earn it. What’s in it for me and how does it make my life easier? The older generations tend to allow inherent loyalty in relationships–it’s my Alma Mater, I will donate or not based on that alone:

  “No. Our Alumni Association is so big that Alumni activities are not the best way to keep in touch with my friends. Also, I was never particularly interested in football, which seems to be a central theme in many alumni activities.” -06 Alum

“I almost feel forgotten by my university.” -08 Alum 

 ”Yes. I belong to the Alumni Association. I was a mentor for my College department -72 alum 

“Yes I participate for networking and continuing education” -86 Alum 

Most of today’s alums are looking for their Alma Maters to help them thrive instead of survive. If they are thriving they will return the favor in support– personally, professional and financially. If they aren’t they tend to be indifferent and a little cynical:

“No, they are always trying to put a good spin on events while stalking you for money.  I can’t figure out how they keep getting my address.” -92 Alum  

It would be great if alumni programs helped more and did not just ask for funds.” -78 Alum 

“No, Lack of interest.” - 98 Alum 

“No - not interested, no time.” -04 Alum 

“No. Not interested.”-81 Alum

  ”Students need to be aware of the Alumni services while attending. In addition, the emails I receive are directed at donating funds not really speaking about the services that are offered.” -89 Alum

 “No, I did not feel a connection to the school and felt that the administrative side of the business was poor. The school experience left a bad taste.”-89 Alum 

UP NEXT: “Did you feel like your college supported you beyond graduation?” and “Have you ever donated money to your college?”

The three “B’s” through college includes Before, Becoming and Beyond graduation. Before you begin, you pick a major and set out Becoming that by finishing the requirements. Beyond graduation the process of defining your success begins -which will look different for everyone. Some will find their life work and others may find discontent, requiring them to review their initial choice and whether or not their dissatisfaction is temporary or permanent. To start this evaluation, naturally they will look within their comfort zones for help i.e., family, friends, mentors, teachers/professors, career centers and alumni associations. The question is– if they look to their alma mater for support, will they find it? We asked alums…

Have you ever used your college career center services? 54% - YES

Their usage and results varied among the age groups ranging from very, very helpful to “No, not so much.” Alums ages 21-34 tended to rely on their advisors and professors for career coaching and career centers for resume writing, interview preparation and networking leads compared to alums over 34.  Alums 35-43 and 45-54 gave higher marks for results and their connection appeared to be more intimate. The alums that said they never used their Career Centers relied exclusively on their advisors, professors and friend network for job hunting, especially in the 21-34 age group. The over 35 alums stated their non-use was due to the demand of their major and/or they chose to use outside networking.

Is it possible, that the convenience of all the online career tools is contributing to the no’s and the lack of intimacy with the 21-34 alums? Are both sides (students & career centers) missing opportunities? Again, everyone defines success differently and will take many roads to get there. Sometimes, “It’s not what you know, but who you know” is applicable when your car of success has hit a ditch and you need a tow from your comfort zone.

Alums commenting about their Career Center experience:

 ”They were very, very helpful” - ‘86 Alum

 ”Very helpful in terms of interview preparation, resume writing. But would have enjoyed more help/discussion about how corporate America works, what’s acceptable in the business world, how to not be used/abused as an entry level employee, how to assert yourself at the workplace etc”-05 Alum

“Very helpful and I encourage everyone to use them” - ‘96 Alum

I used the college career services when I was in college. It was helpful to connect to people in my field. ‘04 Alum

Yes, very helpful. In fact I encourage all Students to use the Career Placement Office–.’86 Alum

No, I didn’t use them because other resources were available to me within my department.-’98 Alum

 ”There was nothing they could provide that I couldn’t figure out for myself” -’04 Alum

You need the support from the career services more after graduating. - ‘85 Alum

“I think some colleges nowadays are catering too much to students. Sometimes it is nice to live in a bubble but college students need to learn how to be more independent when it comes to being in the “real world”.’02 Alum

“It seems as though the best way I have encountered career help came in the form of my advisers. The advisers were the people to talk to about what is out there for new grads. They were even the best at helping prepare applications and resumes.”– ‘04 Alum

Next blog…Why 88% of the surveyed alums said no to alumni activities and is it related to their response to “Did you feel like your college supported you beyond graduation?”

Career Services + Alumni Relations = whY Alums connect or disconnect after graduation

FOOW? asked Alums a series of questions about their Alma Maters’ support before and after graduation and how it has impacted their current relationship with their former school. The *respondents’, ages 22-62, provided insight on the challenge of answering their Now What?, with or without their school support.

Depending upon the college or university, career services exclusively supports students up to graduation, while Alumni Relations continues the support afterward. In some cases, the line is drawn very clearly, while in others, there is a partnership between the two that extends Alumni support.

Exploring your Now What? is a journey in both lessons and mistakes, requiring a variety of guides along the way. These guides will come in many forms– teachers/professors, counselors, associations, friends, family and sometimes strangers; but what makes us connect to them is how well they meet our immediate needs, our “Reality”.

Your situation plus your Reality consciousness can make answering your Now What? a tricky proposition. Reality is an unforgiving friend, because it comes with a truth that most of prefer to ignore; it is the space between where we think we are and where we think we should be. You think you should wear designer clothing to project a successful image, but your salary says you should design-your-own.

For some, the transition of their degree from paper into the workplace can make them feel like a wet fish on dry land. They are eager to put their degree to work but can’t quite find their flow to contentment because that flow is filled with experiences of joy, disappointment and discontentment sprinkled with periods of bewilderment. The process of merging our expectations with reality comes with expectations not being met immediately, feelings of being underutilized coupled with grunt work. People will tell you it is called ‘paying your dues’, but the question you may need help with is ‘how will I know the difference between timely payments and overpayment?’

The career services and alumni relations BIG CHALLENGE is to help with these experiences before, during and after graduation and the solutions are not one dimensional. Their intentions and goals are to create a platform of support for students and graduates ….but as in life; Reality can get in the way:

*Have you ever used your college career center services? 54% - YES

*Are you involved in any alumni activities - 88% - NO

Perception, Reality, Intention, Frustration, and Guidance are the parts that we review to solve for wh(Y) in this series. UP NEXT - 2/26/09 blog, we discuss the reasoning behind the numbers … from the ‘08 alum who said: “I almost feel forgotten by my university” to Alums who found their career center “very helpful” to “there was nothing they could provide that I couldn’t figure out for myself”.