To survive, we must do what we have to do today in order to thrive tomorrow, but the thing we constantly fight is trying not to become bitter while waiting for better.

Unless we enjoy living outside, most of us must work and it is not always at our dream job which may lead to discontent and bitterness.

Bitterness is a sneaky opponent, before you know it your morning mantra of “today is the DAY” can easily go out of tune with the first minor mishap. It can be as small as someone not returning your “good morning” or a coworker wearing white after Labor Day.

Bitter always hangs with two friends – whining & complaining. When you are bitter, nothing is right. Rain aint wet enough, snow aint white enough, and any happy coworker, aint smart enough. All of this is what you know for sure; but what you know less about is how to leave your cycle of discontent. The basis of discontent can range from fear to entitlement. You may fear change or you believe you are entitled to happiness without much effort from yourself.

No one sets off to become bitter but when your dreams are dashed daily, with an unforgiving reality of discontent, bitterness creeps in. Some people wear their bitterness proudly and loudly; some hide behind passive aggressive behaviors and some just suffer in silence, until we hear about it in the news.

Bitterness is something typically recognized by others rather than yourself because you become comfortable with being uncomfortable. Having a job you hate is like being in a loveless marriage with someone who primarily pays the bills that you can’t afford by yourself… so you stay there and grow bitter. Everything you once loved about them now gets on your nerves, and if joy comes around the corner you crush it.

Bitterness is the same in the work place, you are working to take care of your financial needs but your other needs are going unfilled. In some cases it may be a legitimate lack of passion for the job, but in others it could be unrealistic expectations. Some people expect a job to solve all their problems…even going back to the diaper rash in their infancy. The truth is, the job will not balance your life or solve your life problems—you are technically there to help solve their problem. You are hired to work towards a company solution in some capacity, not to take up space.

When I was in the bitterness club, I hated my job, co-workers, and any person connected to joy in the workplace. My first step towards change was recognition and realizing that life is easier when you are not controlled by what you can’t control. Once I knew I couldn’t change anybody or anything but me, I started doing better. I decided to look at what I could change. I changed my direction in life by getting clear on what I really wanted and taking the necessary steps to get it. I changed my reaction to people by letting go of the negativity that was consuming my conversations and time. I also changed my outlook by identifying what was working for me instead of against me, which lead me to another city that offered better opportunities.

My next job wasn’t my dream job but it broke my cycle of discontent and moved me closer to finding my joy. You will not find the perfect job on every try, but each opportunity should bring you closer to your goal. If you treat each job like a tool in your toolbox, that will build your bridge to success; each opportunity should be more fulfilling.

The bottom line – if bitter is your first language then you need to spend your time “pitching” for a new job, instead of “bitching” about your current one. Making a change takes energy and adding bitterness to your baggage will only delay the journey to your next place. In the event that bitterness shows up at every place you go, I suggest you look at the person in the mirror for answers, instead of the job market.

Happiness or gratification is not guaranteed with every job and the difference starts with you; so stop defaming happiness and get a plan to move to your next level instead of blaming others for your discontent. There will always be crazy companies, bosses, and co-workers at every job; you just have to figure out what works with your idiosyncrasies.

Although bitterness is a sneaky opponent, you can typically beat it if you make a concerted effort to change your “i” to an “e” by looking to do better at identifying what you want and how to get it. At some point it is not the people, job, or situation --it is simply the “I” in bitter…which is you.

Discussion Question: Are you currently Doing Bitter and how are you contributing to it?